Conscious Rebellion
11-22-11
I become who I should be
When caught betwixt fear and destiny
And I call on God for help to see
The latent strength that hides in me.
For in my weakness, no power yet loosed
I find I have this Joy refused
That would have been if I had used
My wisdom, and had not abused.
For now I find myself fast bound
By unfortunate fate that has come around
And captured me without a sound.
Within its flaxen cords I’m found.
The ropes with poison coated, tie
My hands behind my head, and I
Allow some potion now to cry
From out the corners of my eye.
And still I wonder, have I made
The higher choice? And have I laid
My own self down, so that I fade
To help another on his way?
And perhaps, if God my sins erases
Because I helped a stranger’s paces
I’ll move on, and tie my laces
And see the world in all its faces.
But morals, bound on earth, remind
That often, caught up in our time,
We forsake the ecstasy sublime
For other trinkets that we find.
Tis only when we feel the pains
Of cutting ropes and binding chains
That we, mere humans, again attain
Our consciousness of Him who reigns.
So lying on the concrete floor
Of guilt, still tied up like before
I fear that I will nevermore
Take steps back through God’s mighty door.
Because this ground on which I weep
Has become my garden. Here I sleep.
For ‘twas I who built it, and I reap
Rewards. I’ve dug my own grave, deep,
recognition has yet to come
Of the sting that throbs like pounding drum
Iniquity has come to make me numb
To unhallowed deeds that I have done.
So my secret might that lies within
Stays hidden in unfeeling skin
And happiness, it’s nearest kin
Is chased from me because of sin.
Someday I may redemption ride
If I lose my devil-granted pride
Until that day, I hold inside
And to none I will my fears confide.
I do my own damnation sew
And find myself my greatest foe,
Yet somewhere hidden deep I know
The words that were taught so long ago.
I become who I should be
When caught betwixt fear and destiny
And I call on God for help to see
The latent strength that hides in me.
