Conscious Rebellion

Conscious Rebellion

11-22-11

I become who I should be

When caught betwixt fear and destiny

And I call on God for help to see

The latent strength that hides in me.

For in my weakness, no power yet loosed

I find I have this Joy refused

That would have been if I had used

My wisdom, and had not abused.

For now I find myself fast bound

By unfortunate fate that has come around

And captured me without a sound.

Within its flaxen cords I’m found.

The ropes with poison coated, tie

My hands behind my head, and I

Allow some potion now to cry

From out the corners of my eye.

And still I wonder, have I made

The higher choice? And have I laid

My own self down, so that I fade

To help another on his way?

And perhaps, if God my sins erases

Because I helped a stranger’s paces

I’ll move on, and tie my laces

And see the world in all its faces.

But morals, bound on earth, remind

That often, caught up in our time,

We forsake the ecstasy sublime

For other trinkets that we find.

Tis only when we feel the pains

Of cutting ropes and binding chains

That we, mere humans, again attain

Our consciousness of Him who reigns.

So lying on the concrete floor

Of guilt, still tied up like before

I fear that I will nevermore

Take steps back through God’s mighty door.

Because this ground on which I weep

Has become my garden. Here I sleep.

For ‘twas I who built it, and I reap

Rewards. I’ve dug my own grave, deep,

recognition has yet to come

Of the sting that throbs like pounding drum

Iniquity has come to make me numb

To unhallowed deeds that I have done.

So my secret might that lies within

Stays hidden in unfeeling skin

And happiness, it’s nearest kin

Is chased from me because of sin.

Someday I may redemption ride

If I lose my devil-granted pride

Until that day, I hold inside

And to none I will my fears confide.

I do my own damnation sew

And find myself my greatest foe,

Yet somewhere hidden deep I know

The words that were taught so long ago.

I become who I should be

When caught betwixt fear and destiny

And I call on God for help to see

The latent strength that hides in me.